Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
My wife Kim is 11 weeks pregnant. She started spotting last night and we are scared. In 1999 the same thing happened, about the same time, and we lost the baby.
We’ve been married for 11 years and have been through a barrage of crap and hardships. Kim is bipolar and it took us about 8 years to figure that out. Financial woes and bad decisions have plagued our marriage and it has done A LOT to make us strong. We are more in love today than ever before.
Things have been going fairly well lately and when we found out about the pregnancy my first instinct was not to tell anybody until after the first trimester. I wanted to make sure this was going to happen. From the first experience I saw what happens during a miscarriage.
Some don’t get the message and keep asking how far along you are. Some who do find out ask for the next year, “So, how are you doing? Are you ok?” This only brings up more feelings of hurt and pain. Others say things like, “God is in control.” Or “You never know what could have happened, the baby may have had a birth defect, God knows what He’s doing, just trust Him.” OK, that’s supposed to make me and Kim go, “AHHH Sweet! Yeah, that’s it! God knows best. We’re COOL with that. Let’s go get a latte!”
Add all this to the fact that it is a major loss of life to us. We’ve been waiting on this.
Right now, I don’t know whether to hope, prepare, cry (done a little of that already) or just wait. I do know I have PRAYED. I pray for health and safety. I’m not praying for God’s will, I’m praying God will make His will that this baby will be OK. I’m thinking, “God, come on, make this happen. Why do we have to go through this again?”
I know all the answers, but sometimes knowledge isn’t enough. I need a God of relationship who can hold me when I cry and say just what I need to hear. I need God who will comfort my hurting, crying wife who feels it is somehow her fault.
Whatever the outcome, I have no idea if I will ever post this. I’m not writing to teach, rant, rave, and emotionally unload. This is life. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes it’s great. I just hope this one turns out great.
*Current: We just got back from the Dr. and Kim miscarried. We're going back this afternoon for the DNC. If you pray, please do so for us, especially for Kim.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
I've been watching all the morning news shows talk about car show. It makes me want a new car. When I make this confession it wells up a number of emotions in my tired brain. I have a great car. a '96 GMC Suburban. It's fixed, drives great, SOOOO comfortable. I don't need a new car. Is it greed? Trying to keep up with the Jones'? Covetness? I don't know. I won't get a new car, not because I'll realize I don't need it, but because I can't afford it. And if I could, I'd spend the $ somewhere else. The Tahoe above is over $40,000. So, since I can't have one, here's my take on the new car trends (like you really care about my opinion). Hybrids: Good concept, but are they really as good as they let on. I REALLLLLYYYYY want good gas mileage, but I don't want to give up my towing capactiy and POWER. Does anybody know how much horsepower these things have? Will they keep speed going up hill? I have to admit, they are looking better. These new "boxy" cars: Come on guys. They're ugly. My last pair of shoes (size 15) came in a box bigger than that. Passing Fad. HORSEPOWER and the BIGGER THE BETTER: I can't understand why the insurgence of BIG SUV's and muscle cars. Gas is over $2 per gallon. I hate getting 15 mpg. Do these newer cars get better mileage? Oh, BTW, is anybody doing anything about the gas prices. We freed the fricken country with the biggest oil production in the world. GIVE US SOME GAS!!! During the election I made it clear I'd vote for my 85 yr old grandmother if she could get gas back to $1 per gallon...sorry, A.D.D. post moment. eh', bottom line, I like my cars. I think I'll keep what we've got. I'll get hyped by the flash and sizzle, bells and whistles of the new EXPENSIVE cars, then I'll get in my own, drive to walmart, buy a bobble head chihuahua and put it on the dash of my '96 suburban. Have a great day.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Friday, March 11, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Wednesday, March 9, 2005
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
Monday, March 7, 2005
Friday, March 4, 2005
Thursday, March 3, 2005
Follow-up from a previous post that probably made NO sense at all call "Can I Get Excited Yet" We found out last week that My wife, Kim, is pregnant. Yup, after almost 11 years of marriage, I'm gonna be a daddy. I'm real excited. My first post was from the shock of it all. Kim had a miscarrage about 5 years ago and we thought it wouldn't be possible to conceive because of some medical problems. Well, we were wrong. I know it's REAL early in the game, not even 2 months yet, but I want to be excited. If you pray, lift one up for us. If you don't pray, wish us well and think about praying. THANKS.