Sunday, December 31, 2006

2006 Out With A BANG!

If I made new year resolutions, I'd resolve to blog more, but since I don't, I'll just have to make the best effort. This year escapes with some interesting tales. Kim and I took off from ATL the day after Christmas to take care of some medical matters in New Jersey. After a 4 hour delay, we finally got shoved into the cramped, miserable place we call COACH. This was never intended for a fat 6'4 individual like myself. My only relief, literally, was a trip to the closet bathroom. I didn't realize at the time I had an ear infection, but the decent from 35,000 feet certainly let me know something was wrong. The 18 year old kid texting on his cell phone mid flight scared me a little. I thought the plain crashed if someone turned on a cell phone. We made it to Newark and the warmth of our cozy hotel room. I swore to do all in my power to score some first class seats for the trip home. Two Dr. Appointments, some shopping and a movie later, we were back at Newark airport awaiting the flight home. With a little coaxing and a few dollars we were upgraded to first class. When we were seated first and had to watch the masses funnel into the lowly coach section of the plane, I started to feel sorry for them. After a few minutes of stretching and sprawling my 200 and none of your business lbs frame, my sorrow turned to relaxation. The ear infection was still there, but some funky ear plugs helped a little. Upon our arrival @ ATL, we approached the car rental counter. I had already reserved a "full size." that was a joke. A full size to me is a Suburban, not an Impala. The rental clerk asked if I wanted to upgrade to a luxury. I quickly said sure, if it's free. She said she could arrange that and in about 15 minutes, we were learning how to start an Infinity M35 without a key. This was too nice to be true. I could see how flying AND driving first class could get real easy. While driving down 285 in Atlanta, Kim and I decided to stop into McDonalds for a quick burger. Nothing else seemed to be open, so we gave it a shot at the drive-thru. After 30 seconds in the parking lot, I thought we were in a "Night of the Living Dead" movie. People of all different colors and creed were wandering aimlessly around the parking lot, approaching me for money or food. I was not accustomed to driving a $40,000 car in this environment so we decided to take our hunger elsewhere. We found another McD's about 10 miles down the road. We got home about 1AM and settled in for the night, or morning, or whatever. Our slumber was disrupted by a 300 lb woman with a cigarette ringing the doorbell at 5:30 AM wanting gas. OK, that was weird. I slept til 8 then went to the Dr. at 9, just to have him tell me "yuck," after looking in my infected ear. $60 later, I'm doped up with my antibiotics and decongestants. Other than a quick trip to the store and a 4 hour stint at church this morning, I've parked my carcass in my recliner. I think I'll stay here until the new year. So-long 2006.