Wednesday, March 23, 2005
My View of God?
Over the course of my short life, my perception of God has changed tremendously. I remember being 11 yrs old and thinking of God as the one who would save me from the boogie man. I heard all the schpeals and prayed the prayer, got dunked, eh, no change. About a year later, I EXPERIENCED God. I can't explain how or why, I only know i was cutting up in church and without hearing anything the preacher was saying, I was compelled to get things right. No guilt, no coaxing, no trickery on the part of my leaders. It was out of the blue. I spent my teen years going through the struggles teen boys deal with. Half of my life trying to fit it, the other half feeling guilty for what i did, the other half (yeah, I know, 3 halves, get over it) trying to make sense of faith and God while trying to live for Him. Off to College, He becomes loving, compassionate, crying over lost souls. More College, He becomes intimate, much more of a lover relationship. Intimacy with God takes on a whole new meaning. Ministry, God is practical. Seminary, God is Soverign and becomes more harsh. Old Testemant shows God as one who punishes those who turn from him. Calvinism actually makes sense. Hmmm. (I didn't say I went along with it). In the last 5 years, yeah, God has a plan for my life, but how do I reconcile this to ALL I know of Him. NOW, I have another stage of life to face, and there is no doubt my perception will change again. The next stage, Daddy. Is God Loving? Compassionate? Wrathful? Vengeful? All KNowing? intimately pursuing us? ultimately in control? Disciplining us? Yes. Here's how I break down the relationship in comparison. Father - Child Shepherd - Sheep Teacher - Student PRINCIPLE - student Big Brother - Little Brother Friend -Friend Mentor - Apprentice Best Friend Offended Friend Judge - guilty criminal Husband - wife Intimate Lover Distant Aquaintance Master - Slave Forgiving Daddy - Baby God, use what you've allowed me to experience in life and what I know in your word, to show me YOU. The Real You, not formed by my own perceptions.