In overlooking the last 19 years of ministry my attention has been drawn to a conversation with a former pastor / mentor. He asked me point blank, "What is your PASSION? What really fires you up, gives you the rush of adrenalin, allowing you to be all God has made you to be?" I didn't even have to think about it. It rolled right through my heart to my brain and through my mouth with no hesitation. Leading worship AND teaching. His challenge for me was exciting and seemingly impossible at the same time. He told me to focus 80% of my ministry time, resources, efforts and attention on those 2 things. The other 20% needed to handle all the "other" stuff that goes along with ministry. You know, organization, planning, putting out fires, trying to keep everyone happy, meeting the expectations of others (not really what he meant but definitely what I took from it). He also encouraged me that I needed to take care of my family, love my wife, and keep the home fires burning. This was 3 years ago. So how am I doing?
I still LOVE leading worship and teaching truth from God's word to students, but I would say the 80/20% rule has completely reversed.
There are several issues I seem to have trouble with over and over again. I'm in the process of learning but I seem to have a long way to go. Organization, Communication, and Conflict. I think these three things can either make or break a minister, namely ME.
Organization - I have the gadgets, the calendars, reminders beeping me for meetings and so on. But what about long term plans, implementing action steps, setting time lines for projects, ahhhhh I'm stressing as I type. I'm NO GOOD at that stuff.
Communication - COME ON PEOPLE!!! READ MY MIND!!! Call me, text me, email me, TALK TO ME!!! oh yeah, about what? I forgot to tell you? oops!! I believe communication falls in the same realm as organization. I stink at it.
Conflict - Why can't we all just get along??!! So what if we're human and our species has been fighting, fussing and killing since the fall of man. We can at least act civilized and biblical in our conversations to each other and take issues to the people we have the issue with instead of passing opinions and frustrations to people who are looking for more to put in their gossip bag. whew!!!
BUT... if I were better at communication and organization, these issues may not even come up. Who am I kidding, I tell students all the time that 90% of drama is of our own making. I'm right there.
So, here's the hump day realization I've come to. I need help, yeah I know I've asked before and ignored it. I'm praying God will help me deal with ME. I want Him to help me surround myself with people who can organize me and help me communicate. I want to talk with good conflict resolvers and get some wisdom and direction on how to handle it, learn from it, and build the kingdom through it. My starting place today is with this blog post. I'm laying a lot out there for interpretation and filtration, but DON'T DO IT!! This is nothing more than the rambling frustrations of a fat bald youth pastor who needed a vent session. Thanks for listening, have a nice day!!