Dr. Procto

I'm workin from home this morning getting ready for tonight. My INCREDIBLE wife just brought me a grilled ham and cheese, cheetos, and a cold bottle of diet coke. She rocks. My brother http://ramblingadventures.blogspot.com/sent this to me but was too dignified to post it. I told him I'm a youth pastor, my grotesque and crude humor knows no bounds. Have fun. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies. 1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!" 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. :Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 5. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married." 6. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?" 7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..." 8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!" 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?" 12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay." And the best one of them all... 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there."